behind the struggle

Originally published at American Family. Please leave any comments there.

Earlier today, I was trying to figure out why the school thing is bothering me so much this week. 

I think it was triggered by receiving M’s preschool class photo.  I couldn’t help but figure out the ratio of white kids vs. kids of color.  It was 11:14  (13 of them Asian or hapa).  In other parts of the country, it wouldn’t be such big deal to find a class that is over half Asian.  But in the midwest, that is a really, really high percentage of Asian kids. 

Being at this school has been great for M.  All three of her teachers are from Korea.  She has classmates who speak Korean, Chinese, Japanese, German, Hindi and Spanish at home.  Just yesterday, M came home saying “Mama! Can I bring one of my Chinese books to school?  Mrs. Kim asked us to bring in a book that is not in English!  I told her I have Chinese books!  I will bring one!  She said GREAT!”  M is excited to show off her Chinese and several of her classmates also attend her Chinese school.  M sings a few songs in Korean.  She talks about the different skin colors in her class with admiration.  The year end picnic is a multi-cultural feast.

I can’t say we haven’t had our issues with the school.  There have been a few times when there were culture clashes between myself and Mrs. Kim, but overall it has been good.  It has been a place where I don’t have to worry that M will feel out of place.  

Today, we were talking about earwax. (Aren’t we always talking about earwax?)  M wanted to know why I use Qtips and not the earstick.  I explained that all my ancestors are from Europe and Europeans usually have sticky ear wax.  Then I explained that Mr. A’s relatives were all Asian and most Asians have dry ear wax.  I could see the little wheels turning in her head:

 ”But what about me?  My ancestors are from Europe AND Asia?  But my earwax is dry!  It isn’t like yours!  I must have the Asian kind, it’s dry.  But I have brown hair like YOU Mama.  And your hair is like the the hair in Europe!  So some of me is like Asia and some of me is like Europe!  Wow!”

(And seriously, she is so FIVE right now. That all came out as one huge, enthusiastic run-on sentence.)

“Yes, you have ancestors who are both Asian and European.  You are a mixture of both kinds of ancestry.  What do you think about that?”  I asked.

“Oh, mama. It’s so GREAT!…..Can I watch a show now?”

The older she gets, the more time she is going to spend at school.   I just hope she will always feel as comfortable with herself as she does right now. The older she gets, the less we will be able to protect her from the big bad world out there.