Originally published at American Family. Please leave any comments there.

Lately, I have been kicking around the idea of working part-time once L is in elementary school.  While I don’t like to work, the one thing I like to do most (traveling) happens to cost a heck of a lot of money. 

I have come to terms with the fact that Mr. A’s job is never going to allow the two of us to travel the way I want to.  I want to see too many places that are too far away for one week trips.  If I have to wait for Mr. A to accompany me, I will never get to go anywhere. 

Since I am not one to live with regrets, I have decided I need to take matters into my own hands.   It also seems a tad unfair to use such a huge chunk of Mr. A’s the family’s money to finance my own personal agenda.

My current thought is that I could work part-time and set aside my income to take the girls traveling for 4-6 weeks each summer.  Mr. A could join us for the last 10 days or so of each trip.   I also have a couple of younger cousins who may be able to accompany me to add an extra pair of hands (if I can afford to pay for their expenses).  The tentative China-Taiwan trip of 2011 will be our test trip.  By then the girls will be 5 and 8. 

For me, there is a huge difference between a “trip” and a “vacation”.   The long trips would hopefully be in addition to our normal family vacations. Last night, Mr. A asked where I would like to go on vacation in the US in the future.  Besides visiting Hawaii again, I couldn’t think of a single place I really want to go in the states.  I like to travel to experience a different culture.  While there are cultural variations in the US, it isn’t the same as traveling overseas. 

Mr. A is someone who likes to travel to see scenery.  He can’t wait to go look at the Grand Canyon with the girls.  I am already bracing myself for that trip some day far in our future.  I have no doubt I will be so bored I might actually claw my eyes out for fun. 

I have already seen the Grand Canyon when I flew over it in a plane.  Yup, there it was.  A big hole.  I don’t really have any desire to see it again.  Never mind seeing it while on the back of a very uncomfortable donkey or scary helicopter or whatever cockamamie idea Mr. A will no doubt come up with.   This is the man who thought riding a bike from the California coast the the Florida coast was FUN.  Honestly, two months on a bike, sleeping on the ground sounds like hell on Earth for me.

So anyway, until I can get to my bigger trips, I am trying to make the best of being around here.  I just spent over an hour trying to locate a suitable regional restaurant along our drive to the beach.  Who knew that West Virginia is known for their hot dogs?  I didn’t.  But when we are on vacation, I am going to try one.  I’ll let you know if it is worth the drive.

Originally published at American Family. Please leave any comments there.

Back in his college days, philosophy major Mr. A and his dorky friends probably had existential debates about whether or not hell actually exists. 

If there is any doubt in your mind, let me assure you, hell does exist.  I was there this weekend.

Hell is flying cross-country with two children.

In case you are curious about the aesthetics of Hell, it contained the following:

-Carrying on two carseats and a stupid fancy stroller with two parts (and inevitably one small piece ended up getting lost which will probably cost me $75 to replace) onto an airline with no assigned seats and no beverage service.  (OK, we could have paid for drinks but I am a cheap ass motherfucker who is morally opposed to paying $2 for a coke…also, I was actually quite pleased with the airline considering our total cost for three tickets & one lap ticket was only $241 total.)

-Renting a car from a stupid (but cheap) rental car company that required TWO fucking shuttle busses from the airport while carrying two children, two carseats, two suitcases, a two piece stroller and THREE carry-on bags.

-Forgetting to book a hotel room until four days before the trip to one of the most popular travel destinations in the country.  All I can say is the hotel I finally found is that at least it was CLEAN, though not at all stylish.  I will overlook the gay pickup scene that appeared to be hopping in the smoking-wings-room’s doorways.

-My personal favorite feature of hell was two children who absolutely refused to adjust their bodies to the three hour time difference.  We woke up every morning at 3:30.   You know what is going on in San Francisco at 3:30 in the morning?  The gay pickup scene.  Nothing more.  We had to wait 3.5 hours before we could even get in the crappy (but also delicious) take-out dimsum restaurants in our old neighborhood.

-You know what else is fun?  Putting the kids to bed at 5:30pm and then being trapped in a crappy hotel room with NO INTERNET ACCESS.

-When I finally escaped the children for an hour on Sunday to go check my email, I walked down five blocks of very steep hills to a starbucks, only to find out that (contrary to Mr. A’s insistance) the problem was not the hotel’s internet service.  It was his laptop that was broken.  After I trudged back up the five blocks of hills lugging 25 lbs of laptop, I was ready to whack him in the head with it.

-Mr.A’s trip highlights included finding heroin paraphernalia in a very nice playground’s bathroom.  Also he got to witness two individuals arguing rather heatedly about who the crack rocks dropped on the sidewalk actually belonged too.  To his great dismay, the crack fight forced him to abandon his late-night burrito run.   (Personally, I don’t know why he was surprised, because the crack argument took place less than a block from the bus stop where he called me and requested a ride so he didn’t have to witness a crack-buying blow-job.  This was back when we A)lived in san francisco and B) took the bus.  It also contributed to the fact that we now neither A nor B.)

-The flight home was truly nightmarish as well.  I took all the children, carry-ons and luggage while Mr. A had to return the rental car and take the TWO(!) shuttles back to the airport, we made it through the guantlet of baggage check and the metal detectors (this time only with one stroller, one carseat and two children).  Just as I thought I was home free on the other side, Mr. A called and said there was a “security situation” and everyone trying to enter the airport was being sent by armed police to a remote parking lot until the situation was secured.   I also realized at that point that Mr. A had M’s portable DVD player in his carryon.  The prospect of flying ahead on my own with both girls (and no TV) almost made me cry.  Thankfully, Mr. A arrived at the gate at the very last possible moment.  L, extremely overtired and overstimulated screamed and thrashed for only two hours before she finally fell asleep. 

One of the worst side-effects of this trip is that we already booked a trip to San Deigo in the spring.  Now we know exactly how miserable the traveling is going to be.  We are scared. Very scared.  At least in San Francsico we knew where take the kids to eat, exercise, and play.  Another trip like this may actually KILL us.

The real upside of this all was that we went to SF for one of my very, very good friend’s wedding.  It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever attended.  (Taking two kids was nightmarish, but that couldn’t be helped because we can’t leave L with my parents overnight yet.)  I was so happy for my friend, I cried more at his wedding than I did at my own.  We also had one day to visit several friends who had not yet met L.  Fortunately, they were willing to hang out with us at 8:00a.m.

As if that wasn’t enough stimulation for one week, M leaves for Disneyworld with my parents on Wednesday.

Originally published at American Family. Please leave any comments there.

Still not able to string together a post that is especially coherent.  I think this is now due more to the fact that my brain is still processing the trip rather than the jetlag. 

I thought I would post some more photos instead.  Luckily for you, I will skip the 47 photos of cows that Mr. A took when he briefly had possession of the camera.

This is the view of rooftops in a village about 45 minutes outside the provincial capital.

This guy was fixing his roof.  He was really interested in Mr. A and his Beijing/American accented Chinese.

This is where the villagers do their laundry. 

This is a photo of L with all the nannies, the day after we met her.  She was clearly relieved to be with them.  It was the most calm and happy we had seen her be since we met her.  The ayis were clearly thrilled to see the babies again.

This kid was the only person working at the cigarrette shop in Guangzhou.  What the heck? 

Family transportation.  I don’t know if you can tell, but there are four people on that motorbike.

 They were selling hot air balloon rides from one side of the mountains to the other in Yangshuo.  It was part of the general touristy craziness there.  We took this picture from a small, well-preserved 17th century village.  It was bizarre to see a balloon come floating over the mountains.

Originally published at American Family. Please leave any comments there.

Me:  Mr. A, is there anything you need me to buy for you for the trip?

Him:  Nope. I have everything I need.  (Translation:  I am going to decide the day before we leave that I need items that will take several hours and trips to at least three or four stores, thus driving my wife crazy and delaying her while she is trying to get all the last minute packing finished.)

Me: What about snacks for the plane or when we are traveling around?

Him: I don’t need to take anything.  I will just eat what the feed me on the plane.  (Translation: I will eat all the snacks you bring for yourself and the kiddo.  I will ignore any dirty looks I get for doing so.)

Me: Have you thought about what clothes you are bringing?  What shoes?

Him: I will just bring two pairs of jeans, three tshirts and my running shoes.

Me: Are you bringing more than one pair of shoes?

Him: Uhhhh. I guess I will also bring my black leather shoes

Me: Uh, no you won’t.  Those shoes are HUGE they take up half the suitcase.

Him: Oh.  Maybe I will just bring my tevas?

Me: You mean the  ones that have the soles are split in half?  Why don’t you just go buy some new tevas?  You will need them for summer anyway.

Him: I will think about it.  (Translation: What do you think I will be shopping for the day before we leave?  Tevas! In the cold midwest! In FEBRUARY!  Because I am sure EVERY store will have them in stock.)

Me: Are you SURE you have everything you need?

Him: Yes.

Me:  Do you have travel shaving cream?

Him: Oh. No, can you buy some for me?

Me: Do you have headphones to watch the movie on the plane?

Him: No.  Can you buy some for me?

Me: Do you want an inflatable pillow?

Him: Oooo. THat would be awesome.  Can you get one?

Me: Do you have a book to read or your allergy medicine?

Him: Huh. I guess I need to make a list so I can get that stuff.

Me: You think?@!?@?!?

Originally published at American Family. Please leave any comments there.

The day after I finished my last undergraduate final exam, I got on a plane and flew to Cambodia. The weekend before I left, afraid I would be denied American popular culture for the next four months, I had gone with my parents to see the movie Titanic. 

Little did I know that for the next four months, I would not be able to escape Titanic no matter how hard I tried.

Shortly before I stepped off the plane and breathed in my first breaths of methol-scented tropical air, a bootlegged version of Titanic (dubbed in Khmer) had already aired on Cambodian television.  Titanic fever swept Cambodia. 

We lived in a small bungalow, behind the old Soviet Embassy.  Our landlord’s home was in our backyard.  All hours of the day and night we could hear their 13 year-old daughter singing “My Heart Will Go On” in Khmer.  All. The. Freaking. Time.

One day we were watching TV during lunch at work when the Khmer video for “My Heart Will Go On” came on.  The entire office stopped what they were doing to watch.   The video was set in a Cambodian river, not the ocean.  The boat was a river boat, not a cruise ship.  There was no iceberg, but there were two Cambodian lovers who were chock full of angst.  Then the boat sank, for some reason I couldn’t acertain.  Just like in the movie, the two lovers clung to each other in the murky water.   They held on to a board or something, but eventually the man slipped beneath the surface. 

The video was kind of campy and funny over all, but the very funniest part of the whole video was when it was obvious they were shooting the video in a very shallow part of the river. 

When the guy went under, you could seem him crouching down, obviously sitting on the bottom, barely able to keep his head below the waist-deep surface of the water for the remainder of the video. 

 It was awesome.  I laughed so hard, the old ladies in the office were concerned that I would hurt myself.  Watching that video was one of my very favorite days of work EVER.

Lucky for me, when we left Cambodia, a friend of a friend (who didn’t even know about my love of the video) gave me a lovely souvenier to remind me of our stay.  Whenever I miss Cambodia or have a special longing to hear My Heart Will Go On in Khmer, I wear the shirt.  It actually makes people stop and stare with awe. 

I know they are just jealous.